If your child is peeing in the potty but still holding out when it comes to pooping, you are not alone.
This is one of the most common potty training struggles I see with families, and it can leave parents feeling frustrated, confused, and honestly… a little gross. The good news? Once you understand why your child is resisting, it’s much easier to help them move past it.
Let’s break down the three most common reasons kids won’t poop in the potty.
1. Fear of Pooping Without a Diaper
For a lot of kids, pooping in a diaper feels safe. The pressure of the diaper, the routine of how it feels — it’s all predictable and comforting. When you suddenly take that away, it can feel scary and out of control.
That fear often leads to withholding — when kids hold their poop for hours or even days. Unfortunately, the longer they hold it, the harder and more uncomfortable pooping becomes… which just adds to the fear cycle.
💡 Tip: If your child is scared, go slowly. Offer them the chance to poop in a pull-up while sitting on the potty as a transition step. Gradually, you can work toward having them go without it.
2. Underwear Confusion
Here’s something most parents don’t realize: underwear can feel an awful lot like a diaper to a young child.
So when your child is in underwear (or even pull-ups), their brain might still think, “Oh, it’s diaper time — I can poop here!” Accidents in underwear aren’t usually defiance — they’re confusion.
💡 Tip: If this sounds like your child, try having some naked time at home or using loose shorts with no underwear. This removes the “diaper-like” feeling and helps them start to connect pooping with the potty instead.
3. Body Awareness Isn’t There Yet
Some kids simply don’t recognize the urge to poop until it’s too late. They’re happily playing one minute, and the next minute — oops, there it is.
It’s not that they don’t want to use the potty. They genuinely don’t notice the signals their body is sending until after the poop has already started.
💡 Tip: Build a routine by having your child sit on the potty about 20–30 minutes after meals. This takes advantage of the body’s natural reflex to poop after eating. Even if nothing happens at first, you’re helping them learn what it feels like when their body is ready.
The Bottom Line
If your child is struggling with poop training, the most important thing to remember is this: they aren’t being naughty. There’s always a reason behind the resistance — fear, confusion, or lack of awareness. Once you figure out their reason, you can guide them through it with patience and consistency.
You don’t have to tackle it alone — and you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.
Need More Help with Potty Training?
✨ My digital potty training course walks you through the exact steps to go from diapers to potty success (without tears and power struggles).
✨ Or, if you’d like personalized support, I offer 1:1 potty training consultations where we make a plan tailored to your child’s unique challenges.
